Location matters as well. Choose a spot that holds sentimental value, like you had your first date or where you met during freshman orientation week seven years ago.
Don’t: Make It a Public Spectacle
Speaking of location, it's best to opt for a low-key proposal. Some may love the public display, but emotions can run high and, in general, nobody wants to be proposed to amidst a crowd of tourists, traffic, or New York construction—especially if your love is on the timid side. No flash mobs. No busy restaurants. And, absolutely no jumbotrons. (Unless that’s something your partner will love and you’re 100% sure they’ll say yes.)
Do: Get a Photographer
Considering whether to get a photographer document your proposal? Think ahead to ten years from now, when you’ll want to revisit the moment. Or, perhaps the next day when you want to make an engagement announcement on social media. It's never a bad idea think about hiring a proposal photographer or videographer, or ask a trusted best friend to document the big moment. If this feels impossible to do without spoiling the intimacy, incorporate mementos (like the letter) into the romantic proposal that you can keep or take pictures of afterward. It doesn't have to be a full-blown photo shoot either. Just capturing the moment can be something that you and the love of your life can cherish forever.
Do: Decide If You’ll Get Down on One Knee
Getting down on one knee to propose is a tradition passed down from the medieval era, when knights would do so as a sign of chivalry. Today, the practice continues as a gesture of devotion and reverence to your partner when asking for their hand in marriage. Of course, getting down on one knee is absolutely optional. Just be sure to know for sure if you want to follow the tradition before your proposal takes place. Choose to do it at the last minute and might end up wavering in an awkward semi-lunge.
Do: Practice Your Proposal
Even if you only practice one time, saying the words you’re planning for your proposal will help you prepare and calm some of those nerves. Rehearse in front of a mirror, to a close friend, or to your pet. You’ll be able to sense how your script flows and what feels most natural to you. Also, remember to practice your physicality—like kneeling or grabbing their left hand to put on the ring. Of course, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Flubbing some words when getting emotional during the real thing will likely be endearing to your partner, rather than a reason for them to say no.
Do: Plan How You’ll Carry the Ring
If you want to keep an element of surprise for your proposal, it’s best to keep the engagement ring well hidden. That said, you don’t want to lose it either. A loose ring falling through a hole in your pocket onto a sandy beach is the worst-case scenario. Instead, find a secure place where you can stow the ring—preferably in its box—and make sure it’s well concealed.
Don’t: Forget About Yourself
Remember that this is for you, too. Don't let the stress overwhelm the joy of the occasion—remember, some nerves are good! As the proposer, you have the power to plan something that makes both of you happy. If you’re contemplating a more elaborate or destination proposal, consider hiring a proposal planner to assist with the grandeur of the event. While definitely a splurge, it's an investment in your well-being if you’re not much of a planner and potentially the rest of your lives.
Do: Make Post-Proposal Plans
After popping the question, have something special set up to celebrate afterward. You can pop a bottle of champagne, make a reservation at their favorite restaurant, or even set up a small engagement party with friends and family. You'll absolutely want to savor in the rush after they say “yes” and continue to enjoy in that moment.
Don’t: Forget the Ring
When your engagement day arrives, the most important thing on your task list to remember is the ring. Even if a few things in your plans fall through, as long as you have this piece of jewelry and your partner present, you can ask that special question. Still need a ring? We have a guide for to help you as you begin your shopping process.
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