From soul ties to limerence to micro-cheating, it feels like there are more dating terms of art in use right now than ever before—and unless you’re on TikTok 24/7, it’s virtually impossible to keep abreast of all of them. Luckily for you, that’s where Vogue comes in.
Below, find everything you need to know about the recently identified (but long-practiced) phenomenon of breadcrumbing. (But also, if you feel strongly that you actually don’t need to know anything about breadcrumbing, and just want a general refresher on what Gen Z is up to and how they’re cleverly repackaging their elders’ less-witty terms for “heartbreak,” that’s fine too.)
What is breadcrumbing?
Psychology Today defines breadcrumbing as “stringing someone along with small nuggets of communication—but never fully committing to a relationship.” In other words, think of it as ghosting, albeit with a haunting element; instead of just leaving you alone (unkind, but clear), the ghost in question will get back in touch when you’re least expecting it, sometimes with direct contact and sometimes with, say, an Instagram DM or comment that will leave you texting “???” to your three closest group chats for at least the next 24 hours.
What are some pop-culture examples of breadcrumbing?
Rachel Bloom put her own spin on the term with her CW series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, writing a whole song about the “love kernels” that the object of her obsession would feed her to keep her interested every time she was almost ready to move on. (Sample line: “Little compliments here and there that I secretly stockpile in my woman brain.”)
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