“A lot of us already have had experiences with our family and we typically know generally how things go or who’s a little bit more opinionated than others,” says Melissa Miller, psychotherapist and clinician at FOLX Health, a provider platform for the LGBTQIA+ community. She advises to go into the holidays with set boundaries, whether that’s deciding how long you’ll stay at a gathering or what type of conversations you’re willing to engage in. “It’s not about what we want other people to do, it’s about what we’re going to do if people don’t respect the boundaries we put in place,” she says. For example, if you’re especially passionate about reproductive freedom and it comes up in conversation, have a plan set in place — do you want to stay silent, ask your family to not talk about the subject, or say something else entirely? Being prepared about specific topics can help mitigate the possibility of tension or even a blow up.It also helps you avoid inadvertently bringing up something that's actually a sensitive topic for you. “Don't invite people into part of your life in a conversation if that's not an area where you want them to go,” Moraya Seeger DeGeare, licensed marriage and family therapist and co-owner of BFF Therapy in Beacon, NY, tells Refinery29. In other words, don't tell Aunt Mary about your last crappy date or your attempts at swiping on Hinge or Tinder if your goal is to avoid the “still single?” question.
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