Vogue Etiquette: Brooklyn Beckham and Ruthie Rogers on How—And How Not—To Act at a Holiday Party

Rogers: It really depends on the occasion. I wouldn’t request to bring somebody to someone’s award ceremony, funeral, or wedding. You just have to suss it out and be very modest about it. I suppose you just say, “Would it be okay? If not, it’s fine.” 
Beckham: I don’t really like going to places without my wife—I’m kind of an awkward person in public! She’s my other half. I don’t think it’s bad to ask if you could have a plus-one—it’s totally fine to ask.

The concept of never showing up empty-handed: outdated or mandatory?

Rogers: I like arriving with something, but if I’m rushing and I don’t, I think that’s okay too. We should just all not expect to be given something. A hostess gift is a very nice thing to receive, but I would definitely not say mandatory.
Beckham: It’s nice to show up with something, but it doesn’t have to be expensive. For example, my friend’s having dinner tonight, and I’m bringing his favorite tequila—it’s always nice to bring a little something.

If one is on Ozempic and has no appetite, how should they conduct themselves at a dinner party?

Rogers: I see this a lot, but people are pretty subtle about it—they’ll eat but don’t finish it. They put it to the side. They have complimentary things to say about the food. They eat slowly so they still keep up with everyone—and usually the conversation is so strong that you do not even notice!

Should one always adhere to a dress code—even a themed dress code?

Rogers: If you’re asked to a party that says everybody should wear something red, well, why wouldn’t you? I would never wear something I didn’t want to, but I’d be quite relaxed if asked.
Beckham: If you get invited to something that clearly states a theme, you have to wear the theme—you have to obey it. Me and my wife, when we go out somewhere, we love dressing the same—whether we wear the same color or go out matching.

How late is it too late to show up to a party?

Rogers: If it’s a dinner party, you should show up when the guest invites you. Why keep people waiting, wondering where you are?
Beckham: Five, ten, fifteen minutes late is fine, if there’s traffic. Being really late? I don’t think that’s the greatest look.

Can one ever rearrange the seating chat without the host’s consent?

Rogers: I wouldn’t do that. It’s just two hours of your life, and then you could always move around later!
Beckham: Absolutely not. That is a big one.

Are there any off-limit topics of conversation? What are they?

Rogers: I don’t have any off-limit topics. I love politics, issues, and people’s experiences. But talking about someone in a negative way is not great. If somebody starts saying something negative about somebody else, that doesn’t interest me very much.
Beckham: Talking about depressing stuff.