There Are Some Unspoken Rules for Solo Diners

For every restaurant table that’s full of couples, groups, and parties, there’s another table hosting a diner who is eating by themselves. Some people might feel uncomfortable eating at a restaurant alone, but there’s really no need for that other than one’s own self-consciousness. No one else in the restaurant is going to mind or probably even notice a solitary diner. You might think that a server would be disappointed with a one-top, a smaller check average and, most likely, a smaller tip, but that’s not always the case either. Dining alone is an art that takes practice, but it’s worth it. 

Read the room

Restaurant hosts and servers might not always make a solo diner feel as comfortable as they could be. Greeting a single person and saying, “With yourself tonight?” seems a lot nicer than saying, “Just you?” They also might encourage unaccompanied customers to sit at the bar assuming if they’re alone, they must be looking for social engagement. No, sometimes people want to be alone and they’re entitled to a table just like anyone else, alone or otherwise. The bar is not the designated seating area for solo diners. I mean, it can be, but it’s not a requirement so if you don’t want to sit at the bar, don’t feel pressured into it.

There are perks for solo diners

Eating alone definitely has its benefits. Chances are your food will come out quicker. An experienced server is going to take care of a single diner before any other table. It takes a lot less time to take an order for one person than it does for three or four people, so that server is going to want to get that check in as quickly as possible so they can turn over the table sooner. The kitchen is going to do the same thing. When the printer spits out two tickets one right after the other, they’ll prioritize the single-top so they can get it out of the way and move on to the more complicated orders.

It’s the same thing with drinks because a bartender is trying to clear their bar of all orders. Pouring one glass of wine and stabbing that ticket before making four different drinks for another table just makes expeditious sense. 

Oh, pour you

And speaking of wine, whenever I was topping off the wine at a single-top, it was a lot easier to pour a little extra than it would have been for a large party. A little extra for one person is half an ounce, but a little extra for a large party turns into a quarter of a bottle. And even though you can get in and out faster when dining alone, you shouldn’t feel rushed. Take your time. 

Waiters — at least some of us — especially love solo diners

I always welcomed single diners, because it gave me a chance to slow down a bit. Taking care of one person allowed me extra time that I wouldn’t have with a larger table. I always tried to gauge if this person was looking for interaction or were relishing their quiet time. Either way, I was ready. 

I served a woman for years who came in every few weeks with just herself. We never shared more than a few words because I could tell that’s what she wanted. She’d order a glass of wine and read her book while waiting for dinner. She almost always ordered an appetizer and whatever the special entree was. Dessert was always on the menu for her too. She was alone, but she never seemed lonely. Maybe this was her night away from family and children or maybe she lived a life of solitude, but I could tell she always enjoyed her nights at the restaurant. 

There was another woman who came in alone all the time who was the exact opposite. She welcomed the conversation and I welcomed the break from being run ragged by other tables. She had a voice like Lauren Bacall and an accent like Isabella Rossellini and she too clearly enjoyed dining alone. Both of them tipped larger than necessary, which is another reason I always liked serving single-tops. They almost always tip very well.

If you’re eating alone, embrace it. This world has 8 billion people in it, and we all deserve some time with just ourselves. Consider it a solo date and enjoy your own company.