“Queering the Country Club” Was the Theme for This Rainy Day Wedding in Connecticut

After the ceremony, guests enjoyed cocktails and donned Willie Norris’s “Promote Homosexuality” enamel pins as they found their table numbers. “Libby’s foodscapes looked like they’d been painted into the scene by a Dutch master,” says KB. “If you ever went to MeMe’s Diner in Prospect Heights, you know how comforting, delectable and queer her cooking is. She stuffed little squashes, made absolutely perfect steelhead trout, and made braised beans so good that they were highlighted as an enthusiastic talking point of the entire evening. Beans! She’s a genius.” Rather than curtaining off the kitchen space, her cooking became a feature of the party. After dinner, there were toasts and a performance by Outcalls, a band made up of Lily’s sister, Britt Olsen-Ecker, and Melissa Wimbish, who performed songs including “Dreams” by The Cranberries and “Come to My Window” by Melissa Etheridge (the latter inspiring an impromptu singalong).

“We dressed up and got down on the dance floor to queer hits including but not limited to: ‘What’s Up?’ by 4 Non Blondes, ‘All The Things She Said’ by t.A.T.u., ‘Call Your Girlfriend’ by Robyn, ‘Immaterial’ by Sophie, and more,” says KB. “A unique moment we organized was the Hava Nagila being sung by our friends and family. To be launched to the heavens in chairs made from turned hardwood with the only music being the clapping and singing of our loved ones, it was an amazing way to celebrate and share one of the first modern folk songs in the Hebrew language.” After the dancing, “we all lounged on the leather couches and cow hides into the wee hours of the morning, and a dear friend of ours, Simone Thompson, passed around a vintage copy of On Our Backs, the first women-run erotica magazine as well as the first to feature imagery and words for a lesbian audience.”

Like any true party, a splash in the pool took place thanks to their friend Sam Wyer, who returned to the celebration sopping wet. “His silly smirk while standing in a puddle of water in the kitchen at 1 a.m. is an image we’ll carry with us forever,” says KB. One of Lily’s talented sculptor friends “made a personalized Loving Cup with our names, wedding date, and ‘Dykes’ written in gold lettering,” says KB. “It’s made with a skill and love that can only tell the tales of a lifetime of care.” Finally, the local fast food staple of Garden Catering provided an appropriately high-low late-night snack. “It’s the type of place where you men in Patagonia vests and women in Louboutins exit holding the greasiest paper bags you’ve ever seen,” says KB.

Now, living joyfully surrounded by the silver pieces and collection of objects from their wedding, KB and Lily are “happy we went in so hard”—and that they’ll never need to do it again. “The reason we wanted to have a wedding (and share it) was to create joyful imagery that could be a talisman of queer love and celebration,” says KB. “We wanted to douse everything in effortful meaning, because the efforts of all those who came before us mean so much.”