How to Survive Politics-Talk at Thanksgiving (Without Losing Your Mind)

Is there a subtle, useful way to redirect a political conversation that’s starting to feel upsetting?

First and foremost, prioritize the relationship. Remember that the person you’re talking to matters more than proving a point. Ask yourself, “How can I express my views while still showing respect and valuing this person?” Part of showing respect is acknowledging that you may have different perspectives. If a conversation starts to feel a little uncomfortable, try gently saying something like, “I hear you, and I hold a different perspective.” This lets the other person know you’re listening and that their views matter, even if you don’t agree.

Secondly, listen with your heart, not just your head. Truly try to understand where they’re coming from, even if you disagree. What experiences have shaped their beliefs? What emotions are they expressing? And remember, even when it’s tough, try to see things from their perspective. Stepping into another’s shoes, even for a moment, can foster understanding and empathy.

Third, look for points of connection. Even in the midst of disagreement, there’s often some shared experiences or common ground to connect on. It can also be valuable to sense when a conversation needs a pause. If things are starting to feel tense, it’s completely fine to suggest taking a break or shifting to a different topic. Ultimately, navigating difficult conversations with respect is about how we connect, even when we disagree. It’s about building bridges of understanding by making space for different perspectives.

What’s a respectful yet firm way to let someone know their comments have crossed a line?

Using “I” language is such a powerful tool for navigating difficult conversations. Instead of pointing fingers, “I” language lets us shift the focus to our own experience. Imagine saying something like, “I felt uncomfortable when I heard that comment.” It’s honest, it’s respectful, and it avoids making the other person feel attacked. When we own our feelings, it invites the other person to do the same. It creates this space for empathy and understanding, even when we might disagree.