The first time I introduced my 18-month-old son Jonah to chile peppers, I cooked beef rendang. This was my way of familiarizing him to the flavors of his Indonesian heritage, something I wasn’t finding when I scrolled through repetitive toddler-friendly recipes like pea fritters or butternut squash risotto. I seeded the dish’s seven chiles, shredded the meat, and served the rendang with white rice to temper the heat. Jonah gazed lovingly at me with trusting eyes as I offered him a spoonful. I braced myself for his reaction, expecting a cry of pain or elation. But he was completely deadpan, as if he was sampling bland mashed potatoes. An underwhelming response, but I was encouraged. His reaction opened the door to a new world of food.
Not all kids can go full rendang from the start. Spice tolerance can take years to develop, for kids and adults. Heat comes in many different forms: fiery, zingy, peppery, and pungent. I wanted Jonah to develop a taste for them all, not only to lean into his own culture, but to embrace the joy of spicy foods from all over the world. For our family, this means cooking one meal we can all enjoy. So I decided to get more methodical about my approach by slowly incorporating spiciness into his meals, turning up the heat little by little, month by month.
I let chiles kiss a hot, oiled pan before removing them to cook sweet soy tempeh. I rinsed kimchi in water and folded the chopped bits into crispy Korean pancakes. I added moderate pinches of white pepper to my chicken nasi goreng, balanced by the sweet and saltiness of kecap manis.
An ingredient like sriracha or chili paste makes introducing little ones to spice and heat simple. Mix a tiny amount into sauces. Use it to jazz up cream cheese and spread on crackers, or mix a spoonful into mayo to serve alongside fish sticks. Jonah’s current go-to is a savory peanut sauce, swirled with a touch of chili paste for gado-gado, a popular Indonesian salad that we eat over noodles.
The best part about this recipe is how versatile it is. With noodles and the just-spicy-enough sauce as your base, anything else goes: hard-boiled eggs, cucumbers, carrots, peas, or potatoes. We add crispy shrimp crackers and just-blanched vegetables to create a soundscape of happy crunching that Jonah loves.
But parenting, much like seasoning, is an art, especially when it comes to a child’s palate and moods. As every parent knows, what works one day might not work the next. Jonah is now four. Sometimes he’ll reject even the slightest hint of heat if he’s fussy, tired, or having an off day. In those moments I remember our initial spoonful of rendang and his loving eyes full of trust—a silent agreement to sample whatever I put in front of him. I just keep a glass of milk handy and take it slow, one chile-infused bite at a time.
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