Did you know that the common phrase of a couple “tying the knot” at their wedding comes from the ancient Irish handfasting ceremony? This wedding tradition serves as a symbol of the couple’s bond and commitment to each other. The practice involves a wedding officiant, close friend, or family member wrapping the to-be-weds hands together with a rope or braided cord in a knot. While it isn’t commonly practiced outside of Ireland, other cultures have similar rituals in their wedding ceremonies to mark the couple’s connection, like the lasso ceremony or the Hindu granthibandhan ceremony.
Want to incorporate this unity ritual into your own wedding? Read ahead to learn more about the history and practice of handfasting.
What Is a Handfasting Ceremony?
A handfasting ceremony is an ancient Celtic and pagan tradition that has become a beautiful ritual that still occurs at Irish weddings. “It’s the binding together of a couple as part of their wedding ceremony,” explains Tara Fay, a luxury wedding planner based in Dublin. “It signifies a couple’s commitment to each other and the binding together of two people. When tied properly and a couple pull their hands free from the ropes or cords, it should leave what resembles an infinity knot symbolizing their infinite love.” She adds, “It is normally done with a single rope or cord, but ribbon or any type of binding can be used.”
History Behind Handfasting
So where exactly did this 2000-year-old ceremony come from? “Its roots are in ancient Celtic and Pagan traditions,” says Fay. “A couple had their hands bound together by a druid so they were tied to each other for a year as a sort of trial marriage—essentially a modern engagement. Either one of the couple could opt out over the course of the year. Otherwise, they would be married at the end of the year.” Today, the traditional practice was updated to occur at the time of the wedding rather than engagement. Many couples choose to do it as a nod to their culture, as well as a way to represent that they are linked together spiritually in their love and marital bonds.
The Meaning Behind the Cords and Colors
The meter-long cords for a handfasting ceremony can be found in a variety of colors—cream and green are particularly popular, but you can also use just about any hue under the sun. According to Fay, these shades don’t have any traditional significance—rather, a couple can ascribe a deeper meaning to certain to colors if they wish. “Sometimes, people use different color ribbons that have significance for them. We would usually plait these for ease,” she says. “Sometimes people use cords to signify children or parents.”
How to Incorporate Handfasting Into Your Wedding
If you or your fiancé are of Irish descent or are planning a destination wedding in Ireland, you might be curious about incorporating this ritual into your nuptials ahead of your ring exchange. Luckily, all you need to prepare is to obtain a fastening cord and explain the ceremony to whoever is performing it. “A great time to do this is either immediately after the vows or as part of the vows. Tying is symbolic of binding you to your partner so saying the words you mean while being bound together makes the vows even more significant,” suggests Fay. “You do need to have someone assist, so sometimes we get the mothers or fathers or siblings involved.” The wedding planner shares that there is no exact method you must follow for the ceremony, but the couple will need to join hands and whoever is helping with the ceremony will need to tie them together with a knot. It’s also a nice idea for your officiant to add an explainer of the ceremony to guests in their wedding script so everyone is aware of the meaning of this special tradition.
Tips to Personalize Your Handfasting Ceremony
There are plenty of ways to make the handfasting ceremony feel even more personal to your wedding. Fay says she has seen ceremonies where the couple used ribbons from their invitations as their fastening cord or add bell charms—another Celtic tradition—to the rope. “The main thing that we always say if someone is doing this is you—the couple—are the only ones that know which way you want this exactly,” she says. The planner also encourages you to be thoughtful about who you choose tying the knot. “It’s a beautiful way to incorporate other significant people in your life into your celebration,” she shares.
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