A Week In New York On A $204,000 Salary

Housing costs: $0 — my fiancé inherited his apartment and has no mortgage. He covers the maintenance and I cover our health insurance, gym membership, therapy and grocery bills.
Loan payments: $1,200 for mortgage, $950 for apartment maintenance (my sister lives in my apartment and covers these costs).
Phone: $60 (family plan).
Subscriptions: $120 (shared between family; I cover Netflix, YouTube Premium, NY Times, Spotify).
Charity: $200 (my company does a match and I try to donate every month).
Gym membership: $160
Therapy: $200
Savings: I don’t have fixed contributions to savings but whenever I save $10,000 or so, I’ll invest it. I have a hard time holding onto cash, I’d rather be aggressively investing.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I have an undergraduate degree from an Ivy League school. My father paid for my education, with the stipulation that I would graduate early to save him some tuition. I went to graduate school and worked full time while attending school. My master’s was from a public university and I did not incur any debt.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Yes, my dad was an entrepreneur. We were well off but during market changes it felt unsteady. My dad taught me the importance of investing. I can’t say he taught me to save or live frugally but he wasn’t around a lot and we had a fixed cash budget we were expected to manage at a young age. To this day, my relationship with money is really colored by my upbringing. I invest aggressively but have very little cash savings and spend way too much on discretionary items and pleasure.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I was a daycare assistant at my parents’ daycare. I worked the summer before starting college for spending money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes and no. I never worried about having money to go to college, or a place to live. But my parents were absent (like out-of-the-state absent) and the kids raised each other. We didn’t have a credit card and we would be alone for really long stretches and were expected to manage with cash. So I was always operating under a scarcity model and worried about not having money for emergencies. But I never worried that the house was going to be foreclosed on or anything like that. Looking back, it’s truly bizarre.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I worked in the public sector until a few years ago and I didn’t make enough to save on my salary alone. I am obsessive over my finances and I probably check my Monarch app too frequently. I worry about not being smart and strategic enough to take advantage of my good pay. I worry about having enough money to support my family if they need me in a crunch. I also worry about my fiancé’s parents’ financial situation — he is their safety net, and they have rising medical and long-term needs that I want to plan around.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I had a stipend from an inheritance from my mother until I was 27. The stipend was my savings and safety net — it helped me pay for my graduate school, save while living on an entry-level public sector salary, and travel. I would say I became financially responsible for myself at 27. My financial safety net is my sisters and my fiancé. I know that I could live with my sisters at the drop of a hat and if I asked for a loan they wouldn’t hesitate to empty out their bank accounts. I am the same for my sisters.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. I received a stipend until I was 27. I also received $35,000 from my grandfather, which I put towards my down payment on my apartment. I bought my apartment when I was 28 but have not lived in it for the past two years (since I moved in with my fiancé).