Why I Love Spending Time With My Nephews: Opinion

Although there's a time and place for traditional talk therapy, my favorite way to decompress doesn't require an appointment, copay, or extremely soft couch. All that's necessary: my two nephews. Allow me to explain what I like to call “nephew therapy.”

Nephew therapy is the most effective way I alleviate anxiety and stress. In plain terms, it's what I use to describe the time I spend hanging out with my nephews. Sometimes, that might entail dancing to “Who Let the Dogs Out” and talking about Spider-Man. Other times, it's building forts and looking for worms. The activity itself doesn't matter, but the time I spend with them does.

Experts Featured in This Article

Tamar Z. Kahane, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the founder of The Kahane Center, a mental health center that offers psychological and neuropsychological services.

Unlike traditional self-care methods that can sometimes feel forced for me — journaling, deep breathing exercises, pretending to actually enjoy meditation — nephew therapy is effortless. It's hard to spiral over work stress when Henry, my toddler-age nephew, demands I chase him around the backyard. And when I read a book to my other nephew, Zachary, I can think more about the photos he points to and less about the harmful effects of the Trump presidency.

In other words, the time spent with my nephews simply gets me out of my own head and plants me firmly in the present — a place I'm not often able to get to on my own.

This kind of relationship is different from the relationships I would have with my own children, though. With my nephews, I can be around them on my own terms, like when they're cute and playful — not ornery and tired. As their aunt, I don't have to deal with the tantrums or the disciplining or the sleepless nights. I'm responsible enough to know that I have to prioritize their safety when I'm with them, but I also can give that responsibility away as soon as my sister shows up. (A luxury parents don't get to have.)

That is what makes nephew therapy so special — it's all of the fun with none of the existential weight of parenting. I get to be the cool aunt who says “yes” to more Cheez-Its and “no” to changing diapers. My only job is to play, which can be a “wonderful antidote to anxiety and stress,” clinical psychologist Tamar Z. Kahane says. “Being around children allows you to connect with your inner child, and keeps you young, active, and creative,” she adds. I'd have to agree.

For you, it may not be “nephew therapy” — it may be “niece therapy” or “nibling therapy” or “not-my-own-child therapy.” But no matter what you call it, I promise, the sentiment is all the same: There's something undeniably healing about spending time with children who see the world as a place of endless fun.

Of course, I know my nephews won't always be this little. One day, they'll outgrow their dinosaur obsession and stop thinking calling their mother “cock” is the funniest thing ever. But for now, my time in nephew therapy is a reminder that life doesn't always have to be so serious. Sometimes, the best way to reset is to chase a toddler around the living room or get a little too invested in a walk where we “listen for werewolves.” At the end of the day, nephew therapy is the ultimate — and easiest — escape.

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.