When you think of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response), your mind likely doesn’t jump to sex right away. This is because if you search the term on social media, you’ll find videos of content creators whispering, tapping their nails on a mic, or maybe even crackling a bag of chips. But even though ASMR is not inherently sexual — it’s actually often used to help people relax or alleviate anxiety — it doesn’t mean you can’t use it to enhance your sex life.
ASMR sex is what happens when you combine pleasure with sound. According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, people susceptible to ASMR’s effects report “tingling sensations on the head and neck, as well as feelings of euphoria, relaxation, and mood elevation.” When you add this effect to your sex life or masturbation routine, you can only imagine how mind-blowing the orgasms may feel.
To help you understand what ASMR sex is and how to incorporate it into your sex life more often, we spoke with experts to help explain why ASMR sex is the best kind of sex to have.
Experts Featured in This Article
Suzannah Weiss is a sexologist and AASECT-certified sex educator.
David Helfand, PsyD, is an licensed psychologist who specializes in couples therapy retreats.
What Is ASMR Sex?
Sex educator Suzannah Weiss says ASMR sex is a type of sex that incorporates ASMR triggers, like sounds and sensations that create a “pleasant tingling feeling” for the receiver. This could be achieved by whispering dirty things in your partner’s ear, scratching your partner’s back, or using your fingernails to massage their scalp.
As for why ASMR will improve your sex life, Weiss says it will help you feel more relaxed. “Since ASMR is calming to many people, those who have trouble relaxing in the bedroom may find it easier to relax.” ASMR sex can also “emphasize the sensory experience and bring attention to subtle aspects of sex that might otherwise be taken for granted,” psychologist David Helfand, PsyD, adds. In other words, ASMR sex can may make sex more stimulating and intimate.
ASMR Sex Examples
Dr. Helfand says “anything that uses a specific sense and turns you on” counts as an ASMR sex example. Here are a few other things you can try in the bedroom if you want to incorporate ASMR sex:
- Moaning
- Whispering in your partner’s ear
- Hearing the condom wrapper open
- Hearing the lubrication of your partner against your body
- Smelling your partner’s scent at the crevice of their neck
- Using your nails to scratch your partner’s back
- Massaging your partner’s scalp
How to Incorporate ASMR Sex Into Your Sex Life
If certain ASMR triggers turn you on, this type of sex does not have to be reserved exclusively for a partner — it can absolutely be incorporated into your masturbation play. For one, there are countless audio porn apps out there that focus on the aural fixations of sex. Weiss also recommends searching “ASMR sex” on YouTube to hear breathy sex noises to get off to, or you can visit a website like FrolicMe, which has a library of ASMR porn videos that include ASMR-inspired features such as actors whispering their fantasies while masturbating, Weiss says.
Now for partnered sex, you basically just want to amplify the ASMR sex sounds listed above. There’s no need to fake any sounds, but don’t hold back if you want to moan or dirty talk in your partner’s ear. For example, you can take your time rubbing each other’s bodies as foreplay, while whispering dirty things you want to do to your partner in their ear. It’s about what feels best to you and your partner.
Dr. Helfand suggests you explore each other’s bodies, give feedback about what you like and don’t like, and continue to repeat that process so that you can expand and explore new experiences together.
Just note that while incorporating ASMR sounds might seem like an absolute yes to you, not everyone is capable of experiencing ASMR reactions or finding them sexy. For that reason, Weiss recommends that you do not force it with your partner or try to make it sexual if it simply isn’t. Discuss boundaries with your partner beforehand to make sure you’re on the same page about what you’d like to try and what doesn’t interest you.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
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