As much as we all want to live in a world where we can cheerfully wake like cartoon princes and princesses — greeting the sunrise with a rested stretch and beaming smile, with all the time in the world to prepare and feast on a gorgeous spread of nutritious food — life doesn’t work that way.
Honestly, most mornings are successes if we get out the door in matching socks and gas in the car. Forget about a healthy breakfast with deliciously nutritious vitamins and minerals, eager to nourish us as we buzz along in our hurried days. Ha.
That’s why we all love a fast-food breakfast. They’re easy, delicious, and they get the job done. And on the weekends, we love fast-food breakfasts for a different reason: it’s the perfect hangover food.
Unfortunately, Monday morning convenience and Saturday morning hangover cures come at a pretty hefty cost and not on your wallet. The price you’ll pay will be to your waistline and arteries, according to the nutritional facts below from CalorieKing. We did a little digging to find exactly what our favorite naughty breakfasts are packing, nutritionally speaking. And we’re sorry to report the results aren’t great.
Big breakfast with hotcakes – McDonald’s
Unlike many sneaky breakfast options, this one isn’t even trying to disguise itself as healthy, which we appreciate. McDonald’s has been serving this classic breakfast for as long as we can remember, and while we may be lovin’ it, our bodies are not. All is not lost, though. You can still wake up with a fast-food classic and not need to crash an hour later. The classic Egg McMuffin is a surprisingly healthy option.
Grams of fat: 63
Eat this instead: Egg McMuffin
Grams of fat: 13
Egg-normous burrito – Burger King
Love it or hate it, at least Burger King owns the enormity of this hearty breakfast burrito with its name. The egg-normous burrito is stuffed with sausage, thick-cut bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns, shredded cheddar cheese, American cheese, and a creamy, spicy sauce. Talk about a mouthful. Unless you plan to spend the rest of the day in bed, we think this probably isn’t the best breakfast option. Like many competitors, though, Burger King offers a smaller, albeit completely satisfying, breakfast sandwich with fewer calories and fat. Its Egg & Cheese Biscuit breakfast sandwich is a much better way to get you going.
Grams of fat: 46
Eat this instead: Egg & Cheese Biscuit
Grams of fat: 23
Ultimate meat and cheese breakfast burrito – Sonic
Sonic is great for colorful drinks and amazingly crunchy, fantastic pellet ice. Unfortunately, that ice is the only thing on the menu that doesn’t contain many calories. This super-sized breakfast burrito clocks in at 850 calories and 60 grams of fat! Instead, opt for the junior-size Breakfast Burrito—all your favorite ingredients, none of the sluggishness.
Grams of fat: 60
Eat this instead: Jr. Breakfast Burrito
Grams of fat: 17
Sausage, egg, and Swiss croissant – Wendy’s
We love Wendy, her cute braids, square burger patties, and delicious Frosties. Unfortunately, she does not love us back with this fatty breakfast sandwich. If you want a healthier breakfast option at Wendy’s, cut the calories nearly in half and order the Classic Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sandwich.
Grams of fat: 41
Eat this instead: Classic Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sandwich
Grams of fat: 17
Breakfast crunch wrap with sausage – Taco Bell
Ah, Taco Bell. You saucy minx. Who among us hasn’t shamefully devoured one of these Crunch Wraps, crouching in our cars with the windows rolled up and our hats pulled far over our brows? Thankfully, we can leave our shame behind and proudly opt for a Cheesy Toasted Breakfast Burrito with Sausage Crumbles & Egg.
Grams of fat: 42
Eat this instead: Cheesy Toasted Breakfast Burrito with Sausage Crumbles & Egg
Grams of fat: 17
Monster biscuit – Carl’s Jr.
The name of this one says it all. This monster of a breakfast sandwich from Carl’s Jr. is a heart attack waiting to happen. And it doesn’t get much better from there. Our “healthier” option, the Steak and Egg Breakfast Burrito isn’t all that healthy, either, clocking in at 600 calories. And that’s the lowest-calorie breakfast meal item on the menu. Let’s say healthy food isn’t exactly Carl’s strong suit.
Grams of fat: 61
Eat this instead: Steak & Egg Breakfast Burrito
Grams of fat: 33
Grande sausage breakfast burrito with salsa – Jack in the Box
It’s hard to imagine that one little breakfast burrito could hold so many calories, but Jack’s done it. This beefy baby registers well over 1,000 calories and 72 grams of fat! That sounds like a nap waiting to happen. Thankfully, Jack had the more health-conscious customer in mind when adding the Breakfast Jack with Ham sandwich to his menu. With just 350 calories, this delightful little sandwich is a great way to start the day.
Grams of fat: 72
Eat this instead: Breakfast Jack with Ham
Grams of fat: 16